Wednesday, October 29, 2008


Friendship is something that we all desire. It is a personal relationship that is grounded in a genuine concern on the part of each individual for the welfare of the other. It is more personal than an acquaintanceship.

Friendship is developed when individuals recognize that the other person is someone of good character, and they spend time with each other, engaged in activities that exercise their virtues.

I have found that everyone I meet has a different definition of friendship, and they really never talk about it, they just assume that their definition is everyone's definition. I think that we should talk about of definition of friendship. Make sure we are on the same page- not that our definition should be the same, because we are all unique individuals and do not all think alike.

I sat down one day after what I thought was a 13 year friendship began to fall apart. I tried to understand the things that where happening and what it meant. Has this friendship not really been a friendship? Did she not trust me, did she not know that I had her back, that I would always be there for her? Why was she shutting down on me? She had began to stop calling me and when we would talk( when I called her ) , she was short and always had to go and get something done. So I sat back and observed the things that were going on around us and I knew that I was a true friend and that I did trust her and would never do anything to hurt her. And I thought that she felt the same about me, even though we never talked about it. We just knew. (this is what I had came to believe) So why was I having doubts, why had things happened that made me step back and take a real look?

I reflected on the many times our families had spent together on weekends, kid activities, and trips we had taken. I thought about the things we shared and times we lifted the other one up and encouraged each other and the times we laughed and cried together. I was amazed that I could have mistaken all those things as things that friends share. But here I was feeling that the friendship was one sided and that I was the only one in this relationship thinking that what we had was a real friendship.

After a year of observation, I found that this person did not consider me as a real friend and that she did not trust me, and that I had seen what I wanted to see all those years. Because there were always signs that let me know that what she had for me was not a real friendship. This was a painful and enlightening revelation. It was a WOW moment for me. So after I accepted the relationship for what it really was and is today, it made me a much stronger person.

I never had the opportunity to talk to her about all the things that transpired, there were other people involved and I felt that she knew exactly what was happening and maybe did not know how to deal with it, or hoped that it would go away. No matter; it did not. I just decided that I was worth more and that the day would come and we will have that opportunity to discuss it.

So now I make sure that my real true friends know where I stand and know that they are worth it and that I will never have that experience again.

I am a true friend, a friend that will stay with you no matter what happens, I am interested in what is best for you. I will always tell you the truth, and at times it may hurt you, but I will do it to uplift you because I want the best for you. I will accept you for who you are and never judge you. When we disagree and go at it, I will give you a few minutes to get yourself together and always let you know that I love you and that this friendship is for life. I will never back down because you are worth it. You are my friend and because tomorrow is not promised to any man we will work through whatever we encounter.

What is your definition of Friendship? What are your expectations? Take a minutes to think about it and discuss it with your friends.

Friendship is a wonderful gift. Find it and share it.

1 comment:

Pam Perry, PR Coach said...

Friendship means you never compete. You are each other's cheer mater what!